Some of those men and women in the big black dresses who sit on the nation’s highest court are not going to attend President Obama’s second state of the union speech. Alito has definitely said he won’t. We also do not expect to see Roberts, Thomas & Scalia there, either. Here ten of the top reasons these four right wingers won’t go, hell no, to SOTU. (Please note, if you tweet about this, use the tag #SCOTU )

10. Scalia loaned his robe to the Wicked Witch.
9. Thomas will be home assisting his wife, Virginia, on her voice mail blasts.
8. Alito is still mad about that whoopee cushion incident last year.
7. Scalia is going quail hunting with Dick.
6. Sitting close to Elana Kagan reminds Thomas that Alito finds her to be “hot” and Thomas finds that disturbing.
5. Cheney called Scalia, he’s marooned at Dunkin Donuts and needs a jump start for his pacemaker.
4. Scalia would rather stay home and torture little bunnies.
3. Wal-Mart sold out of fart bombs.
2. They’re attending a kegger with Cheney.
1. So many hard right wingers in one place might cause a sinkhole and they’d end up in China, which owns their asses anyway.

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