Monthly Archives: October 2012

TELL YOU WHAT

DEAR JOHN, or whatever your name is, you are about to get some real bad news. … “Dear John” is the theme of Tertulia night at the Continental Club Gallery (Upstairs), 7 PM Thursday November 1, 2012.

Dear John Deer, When Opposites are Tractors


I got a whole encyclopedia of broken hearts.

With a raft of stellar writers, musicians, artists and professional slackers, this Tertulia promises to be one of the best yet. What IS Tertulia? It’s a live, up close presentation of art: readings, musical performances, visual art, and sometimes, some unclassifiable “other.”

I have no idea what anyone else will be doing, but I’ll be reading my short story “Stars in Her Hair,” which you may have already read here on THIS BLOG. But Thursday I’ll be doing a special edit.

That was the day the space shuttle exploded. Every night he would look up at the sky and say, Hey baby, how’s it going up there? [Photo: Mona Pitts]

Presenters on this cool evening will be:

Artists
Valerie Fowler
Bale Allen
Heidi Stanfield
Kathie Sever
William Burkhardt
Theresa DiMenno
George Hampton
Amy Simon
Lindsay Greene
David Thornberry
Kathy McCarty

Musicians
James McMurtry
Jon Dee Graham
Sarah Sharp
Simon Wallace
David Pulkingham

Writers
Liz Scanlon
Bernadette Noll
Kellie Salome
Nathan Brown
Jena Kirkpatrick
GHG
Spike Gillespie
Robert Kraft
Jesse Sublett
Bale Allen

Performance Art
William Graham

“Dear John, …”
Doors at 7:00 for the Art Opening
Performances begin at 7:30
By Iberian tradition, Tertulias are free

ACCORDING TO WIKIPEDIA:

While the exact origins of the phrase are unknown, it is commonly believed to have been coined by Americans during World War II. Large numbers of American troops were stationed overseas for many months or years, and as time passed many of their wives or girlfriends decided to begin a relationship with a new man rather than wait for the original one to return.
As letters to servicemen from wives or girlfriends back home would typically contain affectionate language (such as “Dear Johnny”, “My dearest John”, or simply “Darling”), a serviceman receiving a note beginning with a curt “Dear John” would instantly be aware of the letter’s purpose.
A writer in the Democrat and Chronicle of Rochester, NY, summed it up in August 1945:
“Dear John,” the letter began. “I have found someone else whom I think the world of. I think the only way out is for us to get a divorce,” it said. They usually began like that, those letters that told of infidelity on the part of the wives of servicemen… The men called them “Dear Johns”.
An early reference to Dear John letters was made in a United Press article of March 21, 1944.[1]

Here is that article:

An early mention of the “Dear John” thing during World War II.

And this is kinda weird: John Mayer comments on Taylor Swift song, “Dear John,” which “humiliated” him, he says. But it’s really hard to get worked up about either one of them having emotional turmoil. Not exactly inspiration for a new blues song for me, anyway.

But if you live in South Austin, this Dear John story is pretty sad: John Mueller of Mueller’s barbeque trailer on South First, being kicked out of the biz by his sister. Damn. They have some drama in that family, like so many of the barbecue families, but they sure do know how to grill meat.

This is a good one, too, for all you illiterate people. The period you misplace could cost you your babe.

One more thing, and really, I hate to seem negative, because I’m a pretty positive person, I think, but I have to say, this really can’t be a good movie. I haven’t seen anything associated with Nicholas Sparks, the novelist, that wasn’t a sappy piece of lite crap. But here it is, they made a movie out of another one of this guy’s novels. This is the same guy who wrote Message in a Bottle, which, despite having that great actor, Kevin Costner (great, compared to, say, a bowl of plastic fruit), managed to disappoint my sleeping cats. Anyway, here it is, the movie called Dear John, based on the novel titled… ‘scuse me, I can’t seem to stay awake long enough to finish this sentence….

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Filed under Books & other writing by Jesse Sublett, JESSE'S GIGS, MY ART BLOG, NOIR & TRUE CRIME

VAMPS & CRAMPS TRUMP CHUMPS

Lydia Callas, ASL interpreter on left, unknown dude at podium on right.

UPDATE: 7:40 PM, Tues. PM.
I can’t stop watching Lydia Callis’
sign language translation of NYC Mayor Bloomberg’s press conference on Hurricane Sandy. She’s mesmerizing! She’s a virtuoso, a sexpot, the Jimi Hendrix of sign language, awesome, magnetic, charismatic! For years I had a friend who was 90 % deaf and ended up being fairly functional in signing, and during that time I learned how cool and even sexy sign language can be. My friend, Robert Wise, was a very funny, witty guy, and I learned that a lot of jokes and other forms of communication don’t necessarily translate to regular verbal language. But Lydia’s awesome, sexy command of body language and facial expressions is so beautiful.

CLICK to watch Lydia Callis’ sign language translation of Mayor Bloomberg if you haven’t already.

What a media star. NPR calls her “a bright light during dark days.”

Over on BoingBoing.net, Sam Ley compared her to Shakespearean actors!

“Interpreting does require a bit of exaggeration in order to communicate visually over a medium without a lot of pixels. Similar to how Shakespearean performers have to develop a highly exaggerated speech pattern in order to be clearly understood as ‘whispering’ even though they are really shouting to a large crowd. It can be a bit goofy at times, and people emulate Patrick Stewart’s voice all the time in cheerful parody, but they notice it because it works.”

More on tumblr.com here and here’s a cine for you


Created with cinemagr.am

.

Wow!!!!!!!!!!!!

End of update. now, back to our regular programming:

Children of the night, what music they make… And if you can do a passing imitation of Bela Lugosi, go ahead, say it out loud. Bela is such a reassuring presence in these scary times.

The inimitable Cramps. I miss Lux.


I got an email from Peter Mongillo at the Statesman, asking for tips on compiling a list of cool Halloween songs. No problem, I said. The article is pasted below. Happy to oblige. I gave him probably ten times more material than he needed, starting off with my favorite original spooky songs, some of which I’m doing currently, along with songs like “Death Letter” and “St. James Infirmary Blues,” and also songs from my past, like “Something About You Scares Me” from the Skunks in 1978, and then I also sent several follow-up answers, including a number of Roky Erickson’s best solo tunes (some of which made the top ten), plus a comment about the Cramps, and he wrote back that “there’s always a thing up here, every Halloween, a ‘Misfits vs. the Cramps’ debate.” I’m down with the Cramps, not so much the Misfits. Lux Interior wanted to beat me up once. I think I mentioned this in my memoir, Never the Same Again. Funny story. I talked him out of it. Here’s the Halloween Top Ten piece from the Statesman. (the online edition has a photo of Roky Erickson and also an unintentionally scary one of me, my terrible self.)

Updated: 6:35 p.m. Monday, Oct. 29, 2012 | Posted: 6:35 p.m. Monday, Oct. 29, 2012
Music Source: Try ‘Threepenny Opera,’ and other recommendations for a spooky Halloween playlist

By Peter Mongillo
American-Statesman Staff
“I think about this stuff a lot,” musician and author Jesse Sublett said last week in an email. The subject? Halloween music, or at least music that matches the mood of the holiday.
“The truly scary songs are the ones that are very ambiguous,” he said. “They’re not necessarily overt about the actual event, the violence, or whatever, but the combination of words and melody truly haunt the listener. Johnny Cash, for example, will use lyrics that sketch in just a few details, but the sparse instrumentation and knowing voice combine for a knock-out punch. ‘Cocaine Blues’ and ‘Delia’s Gone’ are good examples.”
As for what might be among the scariest songs of all time, Sublett named the “The Cannon Song” from “The Threepenny Opera” — a gang of underworld characters singing about chopping up their enemies for steak tartare. Mmmm.
Shearwater’s Jonathan Meiburg also named “Threepenny Opera.” He chose “Pirate Jenny,” specifically the version from legendary singer Nina Simone. “Then one night there’s a scream in the night and you wonder who could that have been?” Simone sings. “And you see me kind of grinnin’ while I’m scrubbing, and you say, what’s she got to grin?”
I’ll add the “Ballad of Mack the Knife” and later versions by Louis Armstrong and Bobby Darin.
KUT assistant music director and DJ Matt Reilly offers a couple of classics: “Monster Mash” by Bobby “Boris Pickett” and Roky Erickson’s “I Walked With a Zombie.” Reilly also recommended another song from an Austin group, “To All the Trick-or-Treaters” from Li’l Cap’n Travis.
Below, the full spooky Halloween playlist from people in Austin’s music world. Click here to listen to it on Spotify.

1.“Pirate Jenny,” sung by Nina Simone — Jonathan Meiburg of Shearwater
2.“Devil’s Juicebox” by Some Say Leland — Dana Falconberry
3.“It’s Halloween” by the Shaggs and “Halloween” by Sonic Youth — Lauren Hess of Agent Ribbons
4.“Concubine Rice” by Lone Pigeon — Natalie Gordon of Agent Ribbons
5.“I Walked with a Zombie” by Roky Erickson; “Monster Mash” by Bobby ” Boris” Pickett; “To All The Trick-or-Treaters” by Li’l Cap’n Travis — Matt Reilly, KUT
6.“I Put A Spell On You” by Screamin’ Jay Hawkins; “Black No. 1” by Type O Negative — Aaron Behrens of Ghostland Observatory
7.“Under the House” by Public Image Ltd. — Shawn Carpetbagger of Love Collector and Lola Cola
8.“Jack The Ripper” by Screaming Lord Sutch; “You Should Have Never Opened That Door,” Ramones — Jon Chamberlain of Rubberneck magazine
9.“Haunted House” by Jumpin’ Gene Simmons; “Bela Lugosi’s Dead” by Bauhaus — Thor Harris of Swans
“Black Box” by Jon Dee Graham; “Death Letter” by Son House; anything by the Cramps — Jesse Sublett

Here’s “Kanonensong from Threepenny Opera from Threepenny Opera, the original 1931 film version of the play. Skip to the END to see the fabulously gruesome lyrics of this song.

AND here’s Nina Simone, singing “Nina Simone sings "Pirate Jenny"” from the same play. Also quite scary, but then again, Nina Simone could be intimidating at just about anything.

BTW Nina Simone’s version of “Feelin’ Good” (written by Anthony Newley) is one of my favorite songs ever, and it’s one of those songs that neatly illustrates the point I underscored to him, that the scariest songs, or the songs with the most emotional power of any kind, are the ones in which the lyrics are pretty ambiguous, or at least skeletal, and it’s the melody, usually also comparatively unadorned, that puts the chill into the empty spaces. Here’s “Nina Simone sings "Feeling Good.".”

English Literal: “Cannons Song”.

from Bertelt Brecht’s “Three Penny Opera”.

Johnny and Jimmy were both on the scene
And George had his promotion order
For the Army doesn’t ask what a man has been:
They were all marching north to the border.
The Army’s story1
Is guns and glory
From the Cape to Cutch Behar.
When they are at a loss
And chance to come across
New and unruly races
With brown or yellow faces
They chop them into little bits of beefsteak tartare!

2
Warm whiskey went to Johnny’s head
And Jimmy was cold every night,
But George took them both by the arm and said:
The Army lasts forever, and might is right.
The Army’s story
Is guns and glory
From the Cape to Cutch Behar.
When they are at a loss
And chance to come across
New and unruly races
With brown or yellow faces
They chop them into little bits of beefsteak tartare!

3
Now Jim is missing and George is dead
And whiskey has sent Johnny barmy
But blood is blood and still runs red–
They’re recruiting again for the army!!
[they all sit there, marching with their feet]2
The Army’s story
Is guns and glory
From the Cape to Cutch Behar.
When they are at a loss
And chance to come across
New and unruly races
With brown or yellow faces
They chop them into little bits of beefsteak tartare!

(Three Penny Opera, 1928)

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Filed under BLUES, MURDER BALLADS & OTHER COOL RACKET

GIG

Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen
Life is hard, streets are mean
No beast so fierce as a human being
Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen

TEXAS BOOK FESTIVAL: I play Sun. 3-3:45 PM in the Music Tent. Highly literary blues songs and murder ballads. Maybe a guest appearance by a famous author. Dig it. You want to see me play? It’s free.

UPDATE *** SUNDAY MORNING***
SARAH CORTEZ & GWENDOLYN ZEPEDA were killin’ em at their panel Saturday afternoon. These Latina authors are smart, sexy, exciting, invigorating… They ought to take this show on the road. Diane Hernandez did a swell job moderating and blurbing the cooler events of the weekend. See the links to these authors below, which will give you some bio info and links to buy their books, which you should probably do right now.

Also, I got there late but just in time to witness the levitation of the capitol grounds by the throbbing conjunto of Joel Guzman & Sarah Fox. Great music on a beautiful day.

Instead of complaining here about TBF’s almost complete snubbing of crime fiction authors (WTF, anyway?) I will mention that one highlight every year is getting to hang out a bit with my pals Bobby Byrd, Lee Merrill Byrd & Johnny Byrd, the brains and braun behind the mighty Cinco Puntos Press. At the authors party, there was an overflow of cool writer pals to clink glasses with and share really bad jokes (the higher the IQ, the lower the bar for humor) so I won’t mention any, except for Kip Stratton, Sarah Bird, Robert Draper, Skip Hollandsworth, Robert Caro, Joe Nick Patoski, Sarah Cortez, Helen Knode, Carol Dawson and Steven Saylor. That’s it, that’s final. But I had a moment with Robert Caro in which I got to congratulate him on getting something perfectly right in his latest LBJ bio volume, which is: How mean people in Johnson City were to the Johnson family when Lyndon was growing up, which inspired LBJ to greatness, because of his incredible empathy for the poor and downtrodden and his terrible fear of failure and humiliation, which he experienced in the presence of those weird mean people in his old home town. I said to Mr. Caro: “They’re still like that!” and he said, “Yes, I’m so glad you shared that with me. I found them that way myself.” And with that, the great author (talking about Robert Caro here), who is at least a foot shorter than me, went off to another party. Probably the NPR dinner, which is, as Joe Nick Patoski said, probably a pretty good place to sell your books. Not having one of my own to pimp on this evening, Lois and I rolled down the Avenue to Enoteca, for another great meal. We barely recognized the place, as we had not been there all week.

YES, at 3 PM in the Music Tent, SUNDAY, I’ll be performing THE LAST DETECTIVE AT THE END OF THE WORLD, with soundtrack by Johnny Reno, as part of my musical set. There are many best selling authors in town this weekend, plus a few actors and supermodels who have books that were actually ghostwritten by actual writers (which is great, because the rest of us have to eat, you know) but believe me, none of them has a story quite like THE LAST DETECTIVE AT THE END OF THE WORLD. That’s all I’m gonna say.

Check TBF schedule for other musical performances this weekend and oh yeah, also, your favorite authors. A few of mine are listed here.

Robert Caro, Robert Draper, Kip Stratton, Jan Reid, Suzy Spencer, Douglas Brinkley, Joe Nick Patoski, Joe Lansdale, and Sarah Cortez, the sexiest cop in Texas, and a damn good writer.
Also be sure to catch Sarah Fox, Joel Guzman & Glen Fukanaga in the music tent 1-2PM Saturday.

PS: Check out my eBooks at the Amazon Kindle store here, check out my books for the iPad at iTunes here. NEW FREE SHORT FICTION BY MY TERRIBLE SELF- THE LAST DETECTIVE AT THE END OF THE WORLD and STARS IN HER HAIR.

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Filed under Books & other writing by Jesse Sublett, JESSE'S GIGS, NOIR & TRUE CRIME

BULLETS BOOKS MURDER BALLADS

Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen
Life is hard, streets are mean
No beast so fierce as a human being
Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen

TEXAS BOOK FESTIVAL: I play Sun. 3-3:45 PM in the Music Tent. Highly literary blues songs and murder ballads. Maybe a guest appearance by a famous author. Dig it. You want to see me play? It’s free.

Check TBF schedule for other musical performances this weekend and oh yeah, also, your favorite authors. A few of mine are listed here.

Robert Caro, Robert Draper, Kip Stratton, Jan Reid, Suzy Spencer, Douglas Brinkley, Joe Nick Patoski, Joe Lansdale, and Sarah Cortez, the sexiest cop in Texas, and a damn good writer.
Also be sure to catch Sarah Fox, Joel Guzman & Glen Fukanaga in the music tent 1-2PM Saturday.

PS: Check out my eBooks at the Amazon Kindle store here, check out my books for the iPad at iTunes here. NEW FREE SHORT FICTION BY MY TERRIBLE SELF- THE LAST DETECTIVE AT THE END OF THE WORLD and STARS IN HER HAIR.

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Filed under Books & other writing by Jesse Sublett, JESSE'S GIGS, NOIR & TRUE CRIME

BIG TEX ICON DOWN & OUT & MAKING BIG TEXAS BUCKS

Well, if you just want the news, you’ve probably already read it, but the AP story is below, with the facts, or whatever passes for a fact today. If you saw my post on Friday, BIG TEX LIT UP LIKE A MATCH HEAD, you’ve seen the better part of it, as documented by my crude copy and paste skills, which may pass for cinema verite in these troubled times. Here’s a few images I posted over the weekend, too, as they picked up the pieces.

The top dicks in the land are on the case.

Listen, I don’t hate the big lug nut, I just report the news as I see it, OK?

When no body bag of sufficient size could be located, resourceful supervisors recycled the giant Hefty bag containing rotting corpse of Rick Perry’s 2012 presidential ambitions.


Apparently the remains of the giant white dude with the mechanical drawl are temporarily stored in a warehouse and Big Tex related ephemera is selling briskly. Too bad I didn’t get these images printed sooner! But there might have been a little squabble about rights, so, whatever.

Jack Ruby did it.

That’s a repeat above from Friday, but one of the better ones, I reckon. However the first one is still my favorite, below. I just picked up the MARS ATTACKS 50th Anniversary edition book yesterday, which is supercool.

Mars Attacks 2012.

Speaking of books, don’t miss NOIR AT THE BAR, HALLOWEEN EDITION, AUSTIN, OCT. 25. See me, my terrible self, doing some murder ballads to set the tone, plus with Lee Thomas, Shane McKenzie, and your horrific host, Scott Montgomery, of BookPeople’s MysteryPeople. Ed Kurtz will be there, and surely he will read or cast a spell on you, or something. Ask him about the zombie in his trunk.

The original bubble gum cards, only 5 cents for artistic masterpiece!

A POTENTIAL SOLUTION FOR THE PROBLEM OF INTERRING MAJOR ASSHOLES????
Anyway, I was wondering, like, if they plan to bury the burned up icon, they’ll need a really big hole. There’s a lot of excavation expertise in Dallas, and this experience might come in handy. Because, sooner or later, other icons like Tom Delay, Louie Gohmert, and Rick Perry are going to die. These guys are such big assholes, the technical know-how of burying a giant like Big Tex could really come in handy. And, not to continue too far in this political vein, but elsewhere in the nation, we have Chris Christie, Joe Walsh and Todd Akin, for example, some of the biggest assholes in US political history, and so this experience could end up being very beneficial to society, having lost Big Tex and having to dispose of the grisly debris left behind.

Charred Big Tex shows different face up close. Mission Accomplished for some, sad day for others.[/caption]

Weird parallels in Dallas as titanic icon is toppled. Bush not available for comment, Cheney in undisclosed bunker.

DALLAS (AP) — As the Texas State Fair came to a close Sunday, one big mascot’s absence continues to loom large over the fairgrounds.

Big Tex, the towering, cowboy-hat-wearing icon of the State Fair for 60 years, went up in flames Friday. The only remnants were hands, parts of his shirt and the charred metal skeleton of the statue.

A makeshift memorial sprung up in his place, featuring candles, flowers, corny dogs from the fair and a banner that proclaimed Big Tex to be “lost, but not forgotten.” Billboards across Dallas also wished Big Tex well.

One fairgoer, Jill Beam, told Dallas television station KDFW that the Big Tex was the first thing she thought about when she walked down the fair boulevard.

“It’s like losing a family member,” Beam said.

The missing 52-foot-tall statue was also a reliable landmark for friends and family meeting each other at the sprawling fair.

“If a child got lost, way before cellphones, when we could come out here this is where you met,” said another fairgoer, Gayle Vaughn. “If you were in front or near Big Tex, you would be safe.”

Vendor Debra Williams told The Dallas Morning News that Big Tex bobbleheads and lapel pins were going fast.

“Anything with Big Tex is selling,” Williams said.

Glenda Parks of Austin got the last shirt Saturday from Williams’ stand commemorating Big Tex’s 60th birthday this year.

“Since he died yesterday, this is the shirt you have to have,” Parks said.

Fair organizers have vowed to rebuild Big Tex for next year.

The statue’s remains are in a warehouse on the fairgrounds, the Morning News reported. Though the fire was originally suspected to have started in Big Tex’s right boot, officials now think it was sparked by an electrical outlet near his feet.

Quanah Parker gets the last word.


State Fair officials began to worry about Big Tex’s mental stability last year when he bit a state fair technician on the ass.

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Filed under MY ART BLOG

Big Tex Lit Up Like A Match Head

I was shocked when I saw this on the NPR site. Story here.

Big Tex goes up in flames Friday Oct. 19, 2012


I thought it was a hoax at first. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think it’s terribly funny. On the other hand, it really stimulated my imagination. For one thing, I was a little big caffeinated. For another, I’ve been driving this post-apocalyptic groove for about six months now, writing my new pulp fiction serial novel and illustrating it with, shall we say, surreal images. So this fit the bill nicely.

Mars Attacks 2012.


This week, by coincidence, I saw that TOPPS (the bubble gum / baseball card company) had issued a 50th anniversary edition — in book form — of the great graphic novel (epic? tome? reality show?) MARS ATTACKS. I wanted to rush out and buy it, but I’ve been busy doing other stuff, like visiting cardiologists and working and sculpting a female nude from cheese wax.

The Big Ape takes down Big Tex.


I’ve always had a thing for monkeys, apes, gorillas, etc. Being a film noir aficionado, I just love it in the movies when the femme fatale says to her man, “Oh, you big ape!” The first time Lois said that to me, I knew I was hers forever.

The Reagan-Faced Monkey, who performs in a carnival side show and shouts “MORNING IN AMERICA” as he pleasures himself, plays a subtle but essential role in my serial novel Grave Digger Blues.


And finally, this is the most recent graphic I’ve put together for Grave Digger Blues. I’d like to explain the context but I need to take my wife out to a French bistro for our anniversary, so it’ll have to wait. The picture is called BULLFIGHT PANDEMONIUM.

This is what happens when a police pursuit of bank robbers detours into a bullfight and then the bulls get righteous.


Welcome to Texas. Oops, set myself on fire.


And now this:

Quanah Parker gets the last word.


More conventional media coverage here.
Now the story can be told. It was a conspiracy. Worse than suspected.

Jack Ruby did it.

And a gallery of actual photos culled from elsewhere here.

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Post-Apocalypso

Hank didn’t want business cards, didn’t think he needed them.


So, in the last chapter of GRAVE DIGGER BLUES, my novella in progress, which I have submitted to a few publishers and am now waiting to see who comes out the winner in this cynical sweepstakes, protagonist Hank Zzybnx tackles the case of the missing husband, Tim T. Morney (a name that you might recognize as being an anagram of some shit bird who is currently the topic of a great deal of media attention), and this turns into a “cold” case, in a bad way. Hank has acquired an assistant, an artist, who goes by various pseudonyms, such as Garcia Lorca, Picasso, Salvador Dali, Arthur Cravan, Max Ernst, etc., and Alias. The wise among you may sense a pattern there.

Who is this guy working for you, Hank, asked Biff the Bartender. Every time I see him he gives me a different name. Doesn’t the guy know who he is? Hank said, I like the kid. He does good work.


Being that it was the last summer before the end of the world, going to the trouble of having business cards printed seemed as necessary to Hank as tits on a snake.


Alias produces some proofs of his business card concepts and gives them to Hank at The Morgue, the bar where Hank does most of his drinking, the bar being so named because in its previous incarnation, it was the city morgue. Having an industrial strength cooler is a plus for a bar. This also proves advantageous in the chapter titled “You Can Run But You’ll Just Die Tired,” in which Hank regains consciousness on a street corner after the events described in Chapter One (The Last Detective @ the End of the World, which I posted online, free, here ) and is pursued through South Town by a giant grizzly bear.

Hank’s complete address would read “Liberty, USA, Inc.”, since his office is in the city of Liberty, and what’s left of the US after the Republican coup known as The Big Flush is governed by a board of directors, from the top corporations still left after the drone wars and terrorist strikes, but there’s no need for the name of a state because nobody cares about state lines anymore and there’s no USA, just USA, Incorporated. Sad times, but the end is at hand, so who gives a fuck.


Post-apocalyptic fiction seems to be all the rage now, along with zombies, vampires, werewolves and rabid right wingers who hate government, nonwhites and the environment, and whose idea of a small-government utopia is apparently Somalia, or perhaps some rude, Black Plague encrusted feudal kingdom in the Dark Ages, when all scientific knowledge not derived from the bible could have been printed in a child’s pop-up book, which would still be far too intellectual for them to digest.

Hank Zzybnx was literally the “last detective” in the last edition of the Yellow Pages ever printed in Liberty city.


One of the outstanding elements in this last chapter which I have mentioned, the case of the missing husband, Tim T. Morney (who, in a strange, almost unbelievable coincidence, was almost christened Williard by his parents at birth), is the character modeled after fetish novelist Ulrich Haarbürste, who, as you may know, writes stories about Roy Orbison being wrapped in cling film (in the West we call it cellophane, but Ullie is an eastern European and they call it cling film over there). I remember reading Ullie’s stories on the Internet about ten years ago, and I loved them, and I saved about a half dozen of them, intending to use this strange perversion some day in one of my crime novels. That day arrived this summer with this chapter which is called, by the way, “Heartbreaker.” And so, after writing the chapter, I looked up Ullie on Google was delighted to find that he actually published an entire novel of these stories. The reader may discern a distinct pattern to the narrative; i.e., in each chapter, Ullie encounters Roy Orbison, who is always attired in his trademark black outfit and black sunglasses, and in each and every scenario, there is some urgent reason that Roy must be wrapped in cling film from head to toe. Actually, Ullie always starts at the feet. And once the job is finished, Ullie is compelled to say: “So, you are completely wrapped in cling film, Roy.” Oddly enough, the novel is titled Ulrich Haarbürste’s Novel of Roy Orbison in Cling-Film. Go figure.

Alias (the artist, who that morning decided that he wanted everyone to address him as Pablo Picasso) insisted that Hank needed business cards. Why a fish? Hank said. It’s surrealism, said the artist, it’s a symbol, a subliminal message. You’re a surrealist at heart, Hank.


So you can imagine my surprise when, after using so many of the brilliant photographs by Ricardo Acevedo (who doubles as the pictorial manifestation of Alias, the Artist) and the bursting-with-beauty-and-talent Mona Pitts (who also represents a number of female characters in the novella, including Liz Wantone, the wife of Tim T. Morney), this happened: I finished the Heartbreaker chapter, which uses images of Mona, dressed in male drag, including a pencil thin mustache (which I advised her to wear on an evening out), and after finishing I check Mona’s Facebook page and I find a brand new photo (new to me, anyway) in which she is wearing nothing more than a cling film mini dress, as she plays a tiny white piano. By “tiny” I mean about the size of a bread box. One of my favorite photos, probably of all time.

“I don’t know how I can pay you, Hank,” said Liz. “Let’s call it a freebie,” he said. “I can do you a favor, Hank,” she said. “Can we do something about that mustache first?” he said. [Photo: John Paul]

I’ve always thought it was bad luck to talk or write too much about one’s current writing project before it is completed and published, but this is a much different book than I’ve ever done before, and so much of it has drawn from my relationship with people in my so called social network, perhaps it won’t prove to be bad luck this time. I guess I’ll close here by posting an mp3 of one of the songs for this chapter of the book.

Click to play, or use the music player, below right.
Sleepwalking Blues 2012 2tx4

[Lyrics appear at the end of this post, just below the Mona-as-unfaithful-astronaut pic]
Ironically, I guess, it’s a post-apocalyptic song I wrote about 3 years ago, but have only performed live a couple of times, one reason being that I needed to get a little better at accompanying myself on guitar. Well, that day has arrived, or shall we say, the end is at hand. In any event, I plan to perform it at my next couple of gigs. First up is NOIR AT THE BAR, sponsored by Mystery People / Book People, hosted by Scott Montgomery, at Opal Divine’s Freehouse on West Sixth, October 25, 7 PM. In honor of Halloween, it will be a horror fiction edition of Noir At the Bar, with some noted horror writers reading their work, Lee Thomas and Shane McKenzie, and me performing some of my horrible songs. Next after that I’ll be playing at 3 PM Sunday October 28 in the Music Tent at the Texas Book Festival. I’m sure you thought the Texas Book Festival was exclusively for West Austin ladies of leisure and people who write coffee table books about barbed wire and barbeque, cows and useless political hacks, but that’s not quite true. In fact this year the awesome Robert Caro will be appearing, promoting volume four of his LBJ biography, a great, great, very noirish read; along with Robert Draper, Sarah Cortez, Jan Reid, Kip Stratton, Suzy Spencer and some other good authors. I’ll just be doing my little minstrel show, accompanied by my terrible self on upright bass and guitar.
Hope to see you there.

The corpse was completely wrapped in cellophane, with the fly unzipped, from which the man’s erect penis stood at attention, purple and perpendicular. “Was your client into necrophilia, as far as you know?” the Lieutenant asked Hank. The junior detective chuckled. “A dick sickle?”


Hank gave her the card with the lidless eye on it. She unzipped his pants.

If I wore a hat, I would take it off to my awesomely talented pals, Ricardo Acevedo and Mona Pitts. And, by the way, their work also appears in another story from this serial novella, which I posted here recently, also free, called STARS IN HER HAIR. (I made the collage of Mona as the faithless astronaut lover), see below.

That was the day the space shuttle exploded. Every night he would look up at the sky and say, Hey baby, how’s it going up there? [Photo: Mona Pitts]

SLEEPWALKING BLUES

What you gonna do when the going gets tough
when the wolf’s at the door & he’s out for blood
you can’t text ‘cause your fingers are frozen
the night so scared, the wind won’t blow
What you gonna do when the going gets tough

Where you gonna go when the word comes down
& the black SUV’s plow through the crowd
When they ring the bell & the rabbit dies
The fat lady sings & the virgin cries
Where you gonna go when the word comes down

When you wish upon a star
Just look the mirror,
This is who you are

Where you gonna be when the lights go out
It’s a world of confusion no doubt about it
You keep on fighting gonna lose the war
You kept on fighting & you lost the war
Where you gonna be when the lights go out

What do you see with your eyes swollen shut
You’re playing the game but it ain’t no fun
What do you say with your teeth knocked out
Every dog has his day, every one has a blog
What do you see with your eyes swollen shut

When you wish upon a star
just look in the mirror
cause this is what you are

What you gonna do when the Lord comes back
Got a line on heaven but the rope went slack
If He needs a ride would you loan him your car
If he wants to jam, give him your guitar
What you gonna do when the Lord comes back

What you gonna wear to the second coming
What’s He gonna do to a world so dumb
Put on your alligator shoes & stingy brim hat
The Man’s gotta see that we’re all cool cats
What you gonna wear to the second coming

When you wish upon a star
just look in the mirror
cause this is what you are
When you wish upon a star
just look in the mirror
cause this is who you are

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Filed under Books & other writing by Jesse Sublett, NOIR & TRUE CRIME, Uncategorized

SF, crab cakes, man bags, HSBG, PHJB, etc.

The light in the lobby of Sir Francis Drake magically enhances the golden glow of a shot of red whisky.

Monday, October 8, 2012. Last weekend was a nice time to be in SF. Went there to hang around with our great friends, Jake Riviera and Lauri Riviera. It’s Lauri’s birthday weekend, the week before Lois’ & my wedding anniversary, and Jake has business there, since he manages Nick Lowe, who had quite a few gigs over the weekend. We don’t listen to a lot of blue grass music, or any at all, technically speaking, but so the “hardly strictly” part of the Hardly Strictly Blue Grass Festival was reassuring.

The effortlessly cool Nick Lowe singing “Tennessee Stud” in the only version of the song I ever want to hear again.


Always lots of Austin musicians in SF during this thing, which we realized five years ago. We were staying at the Sir Francis Drake, and every time we got in the elevator it was like being back stage with our pals. I remember Joe Ely, his band members, and probably Lou Ann Barton, (one of my favorite friends since forever) and dozens of others. This time we stayed at the Prescott on Post, went over to Sir Francis Drake bar, a really, really nice bar, for drinks, and Steve Earle was there, and some others. I had a Mitscher rye whisky, which was new for me, and quite good. The bartender also gave me a sample of Whistle Pig rye, at $20 a shot, one expects magic, and I have to say, it’s pretty good.

Lobby bar at Sir Francis Drake Hotel on Powell.


We’re huge fans of Dashiell Hammett, so when we’re in town we usually seek out the Hammett landmarks, but we’ve done a good deal of that already, as one might guess of a crime novelist and his wife who named their son Dashiell. We passed by John’s Grill (a haunt of both Hammett and his fictional protagonists, including the great hero, Sam Spade), but neither took a snapshot or peeked in the window. We’ve eaten there, but there are a lot better places to eat in SF.

Although best known for his great novels Maltese Falcon and The Thin Man, The Glass Key is one of my big favorites, and what a movie it made.


Thursday night we dined with my nephews, Jay Sublett and Robert Woods, two fine gentlemen enjoying successful careers in the Bay Area. Robert is an engineer in the Coast Guard, Jay is in marketing, and Jay’s companion, JoAnna Karem, is a territory manager for Southern Wine & Spirits. It was cool to find Jay enjoying a Bulleit rye, my favorite drink, when we arrived at Chambers, the hip restaurant at Hotel Phoenix, and to find that Bulleit is one of the brands distributed by JoAnna’s company. Cool.

We knew there would be a lot of people in town for the music festival, but were unaware that it was also Fleet Week, and there were several major concerts in town, including someone from the eighties named Madonna, and someone from the nineties, Justin Timberlake. There were also bands playing in Union Square, near the hotel, including a great second line brass band. I couldn’t see them, but their music boomed around the streets Saturday morning in the most delightful way. First indication that it was Fleet Week was the humongous aircraft carrier I spotted on the way in from the airport, along with a couple of missile frigates. Something about a whole bunch of sailors hitting port, too, was in the air.

Every few minutes the Blue Angels would scream past and people would look up, often too late to catch a glimpse between the buildings, smiling with an expectation of wonder. It’s sobering to remember that in many countries, such as our Earth colleagues in Iraq, Afghanistan, etc., when they hear American jets, they are not smiling, not anticipating something wonderful.

Ben Jaffe and the Preservation Hall guys, huddling before their set, center of shot. Beautiful day.


Buddy Miller! What an awesome musician. Saw him three nights in a row. First night at Great American Music Hall, starring the always awesome Nick Lowe, Buddy joined Elvis Costello and a lap steel guitarist for a tribute to Jesse Winchester, who was ailing and not able to open the show. Buddy owned the audience during his rendition of “The Showman.” Elvis sang “Black Dog” and a couple of other songs.

Nick Lowe, who I am privileged to call a friend, was even better than usual. We’ve seen him literally dozens of times, and he gets better every time. Where will this end? If he lives to be 100, he’ll be so good that it will discourage teenagers from even attempting to scale his lofty height. “I Trained Her to Love Me So I Could Break Her Heart” was a highlight, as usual, and there was a new song, “Tokyo Bay.” Sadly, “All Men Are Liars” was not in the set, but when you’ve got so many great songs, you can’t do them all every night. By the way, the first time I heard “All Men Are Liars” was shortly after he’d written it. He played it for us in the hotel after dinner. Great introduction to one of my favorite songs. Next time I saw him I gave him a copy of a vintage paperback crime novel titled ALL MEN ARE LIARS. Guy Clark also performed a short set.

Lois at Sir Francis Drake


Buddy Miller and Jim Lauderdale levitated the sea of music fans at HSBG the next day on the Tribute stage. Buddy was joined by Joel Guzman, the incredibly talented Austinite, on accordion. The band had two drummers, churning out a nonstop monstrous swampy beat, and, as attested to by Buddy after the show, when I complimented him, a surfeit of drummer jokes. Emmylou Harris was in the wings, waiting to join on the encore, which also included Robert Plant, John Paul Jones, Patti Griffin, and too many others for me to remember right now at 3 AM in the morning.

Robert Plant, brown leather man bag. Onstage, Buddy Miller & Joe Guzman, laying down the law of the groove.


I didn’t want to bug Robert Plant by saying, Hey neighbor, saw you in HEB the other day, but I did snap a couple of iPhone shots in profile to have a later look at his brown leather man bag/purse. John Paul Jones had a nice one, too. Several other musicians were carrying smaller, narrower messenger type bags. I’ve been considering getting one for my iPad and other junk I need for my satellite espresso bar offices, but I think for the time being I’ll stick with my army bag, inherited from my father-in-law. Not only is it the perfect size but it carries a certain machismo that, frankly, is lacking in even the roughest looking leather man bag. Call me weird, OK, a purse adheres a certain testosterone boost with the knowledge that the last guy who carried it was in a forward artillery unit in Guadalcanal, the Philippine jungles, Papau New Guinea and several other rather touchy places.

Have I mentioned that I’m a HUGE fan of Preservation Hall Jazz Band? With their bulletproof cool, PHJB played after Buddy, a short funeral march set that included a version of “Didn’t We Ramble” that kept percolating through my backbone all weekend. Spoke with band director Ben Jaffe beforehand, reminding him that the band rented my upright bass for a gig a couple of years ago, and that I would remind him again next time I saw him, just like I did the last time, etc., etc., and he seemed quite relieved. I forgot who played next, but then shortly Jimmie Dale Gilmore followed in his ostrich skin cowboy boots and wowed the audience, as usual. Before he went on I asked him if he was relieved he didn’t have to follow PHJB and he agreed it was indeed fortunate. I mean… you know.

Man bag, vintage 1941


The O’Brien Family Band played next, and they were fine, although I am not familiar with their music. Tim, playing mandolin this time, sat next to me on the van ride, and is a nice fellow. The reason for our outing at this point was in fact for Nick Lowe’s performance of “Tennessee Stud” as part of the tribute that day, and Nick did a fantastic version, with his skiffle rhythm and honeyed brit drawl. He was apprehensive before, since they recruited him for this last minute, and he had to learn an awful long list of verses on short notice. But he pulled it off and then some. I forgot the name of the drummer, but the guy is just great.

Rode the van back to Hotel Monaco and, leaving for my hotel, heard someone call my name. Turned out I had just breezed past Andrew Duplantis, who was in town playing with Son Volt. I must say, Andrew looks really good in short hair and aviator shades. He’s got the old school musician look, you know? Back in the day, when a gang of musicians entered a truck stop or airport or wherever, you knew, people stared, they said, look at those weird, semi skuzzy creatures of the night. These days, you see a bunch of hipsters or nerds, they could be working for a high tech company or in the city parking department, but they’re carrying guitars like maybe they just bought a starter kit from Guitar Center. I don’t care if this sounds curmudgeonly, but it just ain’t right.

Anyway, that night we met our good pals Kathleen Maher and Jon Peddie at Le Colonial, a great Vietnamese restaurant in the little alley called Cosmo, right off Post. What a great joint. It really does look French Colonial. Dien Bien Phu and all that. Great bar upstairs, food was fantastic. Crab cakes, prawn and papaya salad, all great stuff. Kathleen and Jon are in the high tech industry and recently contributed short stories to an anthology of science fiction stories by people in the high tech industry. They’re sending me a copy. Jon and Kathleen are usually the sharpest wits in the room, and I’ve known Kathleen as a writer and editor forever, so I know their stories will be good.

Enjoying an R1 rye, neat, at Le Colonial. R1 is a Kentucky distillery.

So then we went with Jake & Lauri to The Chapel in the Mission District, which is the brand new Preservation Hall West. By brand new, I mean there was still sawdust here and there and some unpainted wall board in a few corners. The place opened for business last Thursday, and the hammers were still wailing that afternoon. Sound technician Doug Anderson was running the board that night and he said when he arrived with Robert Earl Keen’s entourage that afternoon, he took one look at the state of the place and said, Well, no way this is happening tonight. But they pulled it off. Doug, by the way, got a weird idea to build his own parlour sized guitar. He proudly showed off photos of this work in progress like a new father with baby pictures. I think the finished product is gonna be a real player and hope to get to plunk on it someday.

Buddy Miller and Jim Lauderdale again rocked the house at this super cool benefit show at $150 a ticket. Elvis Costello again played a set, wearing a hat with a flat crown and a suit. On one song he played a tiny electric guitar for no apparent reason other than it looked silly. Bill Kirchen was often in the spotlight and burned, soared, rocked, thundered on his vintage Telecaster. Then he took the mic for Dylan’s “The Times They Are A-Changing” and boy oh boy, the house lifted up in the air. What a barn burner. Hooray for Bill. Keyboards by the abundantly talented Austin De Lone.

Preservation Hall Jazz Band joined Elvis for the last set and shined, as always. Have I mentioned that I am a huge fan? Oh, yeah, guess I did but here it is again. Those guys are super cool.

Dinner at Farina, around the corner from the club, great Italian food. I had a locally brewed stout that knocked my socks off. Speaking of footwear, Nick complimented me on my Mark Nason distressed pointy toed shoes, saying, “You realize you’ve got the coolest shoes in San Francisco?” Nick is a dapper man himself, so this meant much more than receiving praise from a sales person at, say, Ben Sherman. Not to knock Ben Sherman, either. Actually, the Ben Sherman store is always one of our first stops in SF, and on this trip I bought a nice belt.

View from the Tribute stage at HSBG, just a sliver of a glimpse of that sea of people. LOTS OF PEOPLE.

Bill Kirchen annihilating all resistence with his stunningly great version of “The Times They Are a-Changing” at Preservation Hall West. On left are Buddy Miller, Jim Lauderdale, Elvis C. (bad iPhone pic).

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Filed under BLUES, MURDER BALLADS & OTHER COOL RACKET, travel & food, Your basic culture thing