TEN REASONS TED NUGENT WAS INVITED TO THE STATE OF THE UNION

Steve Stockman, a US Representative from, guess where, Texas, has invited Ted Nugent to be his guest at the State of the Union address by President Obama. You may be wondering why. For more info about this Stockman character, click here.
Nugent has made no secret of his hatred for Barack Obama. He’s a rabid right winger. He is beloved by the NRA, and not just because he loves to shoot animals, including at least one rhinoceros. He’s made lewd, violent suggestions about what he thinks President Obama and also Hillary Clinton should do with his assault rifle. Given the serious problems our nation is facing–including climate change, the economy, voter suppression, and a very serious debate about ways to keep innocent citizens from being murdered by the truckload by people who buy military weapons as easily as you can go buy a quart of milk–you might be wondering, Why the heck would anyone invited a foul-mouthed, hateful idiot like Ted Nugent to a serious, important event like the State of the Union address?

Also, if you are a kind of a music fan under the age of 60, you might be asking, “Who the heck is Ted Nugent, anyway?”

Here are Ten Reasons Ted Nugent was invited to attend the State of the Union address by the president.

1. Krusty the Clown was already booked.

2. A bucket of pond scum carefully considered the invitation and then declined.

3. Ted is curious to see what a bona fide rock star looks like.

4. They are cleaning Ted’s cage at the zoo that day anyway.

6. Stockman is a huge Nugent fan. But we wonder what his wife thinks of lyrics like these, from “Stranglehold”:

Here I come again now baby
like a dog in heat…

You ran that night you left now baby

You put me in my place

I got you in a stranglehold baby

then I crushed your face

7. Ed Gein wasn’t available.

8. Because musicians like Beyonce and Bruce Springsteen, for example, sell millions of records and have won multiple Grammys. Ted Nugent sells dozens of records and no one has heard of him except your old Gramma.

9. Because large crowds have an adverse affect on Stockman’s pet chicken, Bushmaster, who suffers from irritable bowel syndrome.

10. In Congressman Stockman’s words, “I am sick and tired of Rick Perry getting credit for being the stupidest Texan in the world.”

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