CHAVEZ ON THE MOON

jesse sublett, surrealist, crime writer, noir writer

Most of the time if your cat disappears, you look in the closet, under the tables, etc. Chavez is more of a challenge.

“How the hell did you get up there?”
“It’s a long story. Parts of it you won’t believe, others you don’t want to know.”
“That’s the same reaction I had when I saw the vomit you left on the rug this morning.”
“It’s a small price to pay for saving your life. I discovered huge raccoon sabotaging your DVR programs and I kicked his ass.”
“You mean that stripy thing on the red space chair? That’s not even a small raccoon, that’s the Italian socks I bought at Neiman Marcus.”
“These things look a lot larger in the attack mode.”

cats, cat on the moon, jesse sublett, noir writer, crime novelist, surrealist

Chavez with the carcass of his most recent kill.

“I suppose you were trying to waterboard that headless gecko I found last night.”
“That crocodile in the bathroom? I was just playing with him when his head came off. Some kind of design flaw, I suspect.”
“It’s a sad story when a cute furry little kitten you adopt grows up to be Dick Cheney.”
“If you want to see what Dick Cheney looks like in high heels and a push-up bra just go to the mall.”
“What are you talking about now?”
“He’s the new Estée Lauder girl. Doing makeovers for all his old Halliburton friends.”
“The image has a certain cosmic symmetry.”
“He applied for the job with Lancôme, but they turned him down.”
“I can’t imagine why.”
“Despite his new look, the Lancôme manager recognized him as a war criminal. But Estée Lauder, they’ll hire anybody.”

cats, cats in space, Jesse Sulbett, noir writer, crime author, surrealist

Moe Chavez, spreading his bad reputation beyond Earth orbit.

“Speaking of jobs, you’re going to have to get one. I imagine the fire department will be sending a bill for hauling your little black butt down from the moon.”
“Don’t feel bad you’ve never been there. It’s like an outlet mall in West Texas, a whole lot of nothing. The whole place is like a giant litter box.”
“So you went all the way to the moon just to poop?”
“Let’s not get too personal. It’s nap time anyway. Prrrrrrr.”

NEXT GIG BY THE SKUNKS IS JUNE 29. JESSE SUBLETT, JON DEE GRAHAM, AND GUEST DRUMMER WILLIAM MANSELL. DETAILS HERE and HERE.

cats, cats on the moon, cats on youtube, jesse sublett, noir novelist, crime writer, hardboiled crime fiction, surrealist

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