Me & Kato & Marcia Clark who prosecuted his landlord, that 2-initial thug who (temporarily) escaped the long hairy arm of the law


Jesse Sublett, crime writer and Kato Kaelin

The creative crew of Eye for an Eye, Judge Extreme Akim, Tom Huckabee, Kato Kaelin, Jeff Sheftell, MB, Jesse Sublett, Randy Bellous

Here’s the youtube link of Kato and me. For the explanation as to how this came about, scroll to the bottom of the post. It’s interesting, but not the main reason I posted this.

Kato Kaelin wishes Lois happy Valentines Day, 2005.

Thank goodness for youtube and fleeting fame and dubious associations. Marcia Clark is coming to town, and if you forgot that she was the prosecutor in LA County when OJ Simpson was charged with slaughtering his ex-wife and her boyfriend, and if you didn’t know that she is now a hot, best-selling, cool crime novelist, and if you didn’t know that I was a producer for a reality courtroom show a few years back and the host was OJ’s house guest, Kato Kaelin, then you are in for a treat. Come to Noir at the Bar Saturday night, July 20, 7 PM, at Opal Divine Penn Field, 3601 South Congress, up on the side of the hill there, which used to be a strip club, years ago when Austin was more weird but less cool.

There will be readings by Marcia Clark, Tim Hallinan, Josh Stallings and me, my terrible self. I will be playing a couple of songs before the show gets under way, including a special one dedicated to Marcia. Our host is the ever affable and knowledgable Scott Montgomery of BookPeople, the store with the mostest, which will have copies of all the authors’ books on hand for sale, including my most recent, Grave Digger Blues.

Marcia is the author of three crime novels, Guilt by AssociationGuilt by Degrees, and Killer Ambition, a series featuring Los Angeles Special Trials prosecutor Rachel Knight. Tim Hallinan is the Edgar- and Macavity-nominated author of thirteen widely praised books—twelve novels and a work of nonfiction—including the Poke Rafferty Bangkok thrillers A Nail Through the Heart, The Fourth Watcher, Breathing Water, and The Queen of Patpong. Josh Stallings, a Hollywood character, jack of all trades who has bummed around that crazy town and written films and video games and worked as a bouncer, taxi driver, etc., etc., is the author of Beautiful, Naked and Dead, and Out There Bad (Moses #2) , and others, including the noir memoir, All the Wild Children. (Hey, I’ve got one of those). Jesse Sublett, the author of this blog… hey, you should already know enough about me, and if you don’t, maybe you stumbled on this blog by accident, shopping for one of those sleep-number beds or something.

Hey I got your sleep number right here… talking about the big sleep….


I posted the “Kato Kaelin wishes Lois Richwine Happy Valentines 2005” as a kind  painful  memory association following  the disappointing verdict in the George Zimmerman trial. This may seem like a bit of a ramble, but here’s the deal. In 2005 I was a segment producer on Eye an Eye, a reality courtroom show produced in Dallas. Kato was the host.  I dug this up because Marcia Clark, prosecutor in the OJ trial, is now a hot crime writer  appearing at Noir at the Bar/Austin on Saturday. You’ve probably seen Marcia on MSNBC and other news networks lately, commenting on the Zimmerman trial. For months now, Scott Montgomery of BookPeople has been telling me how excited he is that Marcia is coming, because she’s not only a fine noir writer, but a fun gal. So I promised her, via Facebook, that I’d play a certain song especially for her on Saturday night, not to put her on the spot, but because it seemed like a good idea. A couple more photos from my experiences with Eye for an Eye appear below. It was a good gig, but strange. Kato was a real chick magnet. We were in Dallas for 3 weeks and every night at the hotel after work, women flocked to the guy like moths to a blonde surfer rock star. I mean, I’ve been around rock stars before, which you may realize, but I haven’t seen anything like this. Kato was OK, a gracious guy. Tom Huckabee was my counterpart on the production team. I prepped the plaintiffs before they went in before the judge, and Tom prepped the defendants. With each case, each of us tried our best  to screw up the other side. Kind of like when Tom was in the Huns and I was in the Skunks back in 1979, and the Huns had no talent and were all gimmicks, and the Skunks had talent, and not many gimmicks. Something like that, except Tom wasn’t wearing a glitter gold jockstrap, like the Huns singer did back in 1979.

This job was quite an experience. After a few weeks of preproduction, we shot 70 episodes in 21 days. You read that correctly: 70 episodes in 21 days. It was brutal and weird and funny. And when I say that, I’m not talking about the limp pasta salad from catering every day. The catering company, of course, was doing the gig just for the screen credit, so you can imagine, it was not a gourmet experience. Our first day on the job, the main producer had us all sign severe non disclosure agreements, then called up this car dealer and got Hummers for us to drive. The creative producers got assigned this cayenne red Hummer, and none of the other guys in my group would drive the thing, so I had to drive this ugly, embarrassing monster every day, and I’m not the best navigator of Dallas freeways (BTW that was not meant as a bad pun).

One of my favorite cases was the preacher who shot his neighbor’s dog. I represented the preacher, believe it or not, and I really thought we were going to win.

Anyway, there’s a lot of chatter on my Facebook page since I posted that video of Kato Kaelin wishing Lois happy Valentines day. Check it out. Some of it is pretty funny, some of it is retarded. Kind of like life.




Jesse Sublett, crime author, blues singer

Wanna know what it’s like to be a hard working producer for a reality show? You get to drive one of these to the set every morning.

Jesse Sublett, crime author, blues singer

Betsy was the PA who worked exclusively for Tom and Jeff and I, plus MB, on the show. She was sweet and really great to us and I hope she’s rich and famous now.


Jesse Sublett, crime author, blues singer

Sugar Ray Phillips, a former middleweight fighter, was the bailiff


Jesse Sublett, crime author, blues singer

Here’s the audience. All of our audience members had to pass an IQ test. Hint: It was a 2-digit number.

Jesse Sublett, crime author, blues singerPlaintiffs for one of the cases on Eye for an Eye, 2005 season



Jesse Sublett, crime author, blues singer

Sahar was a Russian mail order bride. The plaintiff wanted a refund. If I remember correctly, we sentenced him to six months in the funny farm.


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